Growing up, I always thought that my older brother was treated differently than me. It was never that I thought they loved him more than me, but I always knew his circumstances were definitely different than my own. Looking back, I think I can understand why. When I was younger I thought it was so unfair that he got to do more things because he was a boy. When I look at it from my parent’s view, however, I can see why they were more protective over me than they were with my brother.
My brother wasn’t exactly a good kid growing up. He was always out late and we knew he went to parties. One time, when he was 16, my parents caught him and his friend in our basement smoking weed. I was only 11 at the time, so this event seemed like an even bigger deal to me then than it does now. Of course, my parents were furious, angry, sad, but after a month of him being grounded, they got over it. Afterwards, he was still allowed to stay out late.
When I turned 16 and started wanting to go out, my parents gave me a curfew. I believe it was 11 o’clock on weekends, and I couldn’t really go out during the weekdays. I thought it was pretty fair, but when I really started to think about it, I wondered why my brother had no curfew when he was my age. They argued, “Because he’s a boy”. I used to get so angry during these conversations because I had never done anything wrong like my brother, yet I still had to be home at these certain times.
My brother moved out a couple times during high school and then again when he graduated. My parents kind of just let him do what he wanted because they knew they couldn’t stop him anyways. They would fight, make up, and then fight again. He pretty much had complete freedom once he turned 17. I, however, had a curfew up until the summer before I came to college, even though I had just turned 19. When my brother went out, they left him alone. When I went out, they had to know where I was, where I was going, who I was with, and they would also text me throughout the night. If I didn’t answer, they would call whomever I was with. I always felt like I had little freedom, and I was jealous of the freedoms my brother got when he was even younger than me.
My parents could never really explain why it was that my brother got treated differently than me. They would just tell me that boys get treated different than girls, and that it was just because I’m more likely to get hurt when I’m out late. I am also their “little girl” and, not that they love me more or anything, but I think that just makes them more protective over me. I guess I can understand that, seeing now that boys are generally more able to fend for themselves than girls are. It still doesn’t change how unfair I thought it was back then though.
Now, for my younger sister, it’s about the same as it was with me, only there are special circumstances. My sister usually doesn’t go out much, and it’s harder for her to make friends. She’s 16, and spends the majority of her time at home. She doesn’t drive, so my parents take her where she wants to go. I feel like she pretty much gets to do whatever she wants. If she wants to be out late, she can be out late, even though she’s 16. When I was 16, I had to be home by 11. I can understand why my parents are like that with her. When they see she wants to actually go out with friends and have a social life, they jump at the chance to take her places. I suppose if she had an active social life and was out all of the time like I used to be, then rules would be set for her too. It doesn’t really upset me that she doesn’t have a curfew.
When I have kids, I’m not sure if I would go in the direction my parents did. While I do see their reasoning, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair that guys get an advantage just because they were born males. Then again, maybe it’s not so fair us girls get pampered and babies just because we were born females. Who knows?
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