I Want a Daughter

A majority of women grow up dreaming of having children at some point. They think of what their children will look like, how they will spoil them, and all of the fun times they will have with their future children. When it comes time for these women to actually have kids, there are these expectations in the back of their minds on what their experience will be like. I think that when my mother had me, her first daughter, she definitely expected me to be the daughter she had always imagined. This holds true even today. Ever since June 28th, 1991, I will always be a daughter. Oh, what a joy it is.
I want a daughter. I want a little princess that will always be sweet to me. I want a cute little girl with dark hair that I can put in cute little ponytails and bows. I want to dress her up in pink dresses and hear her say in her baby voice “I wuv you, Mommy.” I want to take her to the park and get lots of compliments on how cute my daughter is. I want people to be jealous that their kids aren’t as cute as mine. I want my daughter to be polite and nice to strangers, but also be smart enough to not follow them to her car. I want people to “ooh” and “aah” at every little thing she does. I want her to run into my room every morning just to snuggle with me. I want her to have tea parties with me and want to play house. I want her to love her daddy, but favor me. I want to hate whenever she has to grow up a little more and start school.
When my daughter starts kindergarten, I want to receive notes home from her teachers about how sweet my little girl is in class. I want to her to be shy with her classmates, but very nice to them. I want her to get citizen of the month frequently. I want to see all pluses on her report card. I want her to come to me after school and ask for help on her homework. I want her to grow and learn and dream, but I want her to be my little girl forever. I want to be in charge of all of her class parties. I want all of the kids to know that I am her cool mom that comes in to help the school whenever I can. I want her to have lots of friends over for sleepovers so I can bake for them and be like their second mom. I want my daughter to do what she wants. If she wants to play sports, I want her to play sports. If she wants to be in dance class, I will sign her up. If she wants to just be a nerd and read all of the time, I will buy her books. But whatever she decides to do growing up, I want her to succeed.
It’s going to be tough having a daughter in middle school, but I know she can do it. She is going to go through puberty, get her first period, buy her first bra, and experience her first boy pains. My daughter is going to go through a lot during middle school, but she sure as hell is going to get through it the right way. Instead of experimenting with drugs, alcohol, and boys in middle school like a lot of girls seem to do, she is going to be Momma’s good girl. She will always be the goody-goody of her class, because her mother would expect nothing less. When she does mess up, she is going to tell me, because her conscious couldn’t stand not telling her mom things. Middle school is going to be hard for my daughter, but she will succeed, I’m sure.
High school is going to be the roughest, but we can do it. My daughter is going to make good grades without me even hounding her about homework. In fact, I won’t even have to ask her how classes are going, because I know she can handle it. Somehow, without me pushing her, I will still be receiving report cards in the mail full of As and Bs. I will be so proud that my daughter has taken the responsibility upon herself to do well in school and succeed. Now, of course, my daughter will be dealing with normal high school temptations. I expect that she won’t participate in any of them, but I know that is unrealistic. She may try drinking, she may try smoking, she may even have sex with boys, but as long as she comes to her senses at some point and realizes what is worth it in life and what isn’t, I will be proud of her. I will be angry the first time I find out she drank, but she will tell me she realizes now how stupid it was and that she won’t do it again. I will hug her and love her for being honest. When she tells me she needs birth control, I may or may not be disappointed, but we will have a talk and she will make that decision on her own. My daughter is going to have her share of hard times in high school, but she will turn out like the accomplished, sweet, and amazing young lady I always expected she will be.
Having a daughter is going to be rough. There are going to be so many ups and downs. Growing up, dating, high school…it’s going to be a long road. But hopefully, with some careful guidance and knowing that she has a support system behind her, she will turn out like the daughter I always wanted. I want a daughter, so bad.